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Richard the Tuxedo

Richard the Tuxedo

Relationship Status: Single and always ready to mingle

Description: Dick’s full name is Richard Hardington Jr, or Dick for short. Aptly enough, Dick is also a dick by nature and puts hoes before bro’s all the time. He doesn’t get on the best with the gang cos he’s a dick and is constantly bickering with Jimmy, The Tradie. He thinks he’s super smooth and the alpha, but he often receives eye rolls from his mates. Dick is sophisticated, likens himself to Bond, he is always well dressed, often wears suit jackets, drinks fine wines, whiskey, listens to jazz only from vintage record players - he became buddies with Woody after bonding over Coltrane. Dick likes to read and quote from literature books during conversations in a condescending manner. Dick is also a bit OCD, a neat freak, somewhat fussy, and snobby.  You’ll often find Dick traveling around the world attending high-class parties. He is quietly bisexual, where you may find him mingling as a threesome.

Even though he’s outwardly annoying, he does have a secretly dangerous element to him - dead bodies may show and he is strangely quiet and satisfied. This side of him is never explicitly demonstrated though. He gets on with Woody because he plays his favourite spy video game where he narcissistically thinks Woody’s video game drawings are based on him, so it’s an ego thing. Also, chicks dig Woody for some weird reason, so Dick’s there to slay them.

Similar Personalities: Barney from How I Met Your Mother, Archer from Archer  

Typical Situations:

  • Spends a lot of free time looking for the go-to parties to attend and making sure he is on the VIP list. He has a way with his words and always manages to smooze his way into the most high-class situations, parties, and events.
  • Shopping, oh shopping for Dick. What would he do without that Platinum American Express card? Dick doesn’t believe in shopping online because it’s the experience of walking into the shop, feeling the clothing, and discussing the pros/ cons to the latest fashion. He also never leaves a shop empty handed even if its a business card from one of the business owners where Dick most likely seals a deal to promote and advertise their clothing line through his social media platform (which is quite popular).
  • Dick doesn’t have time for small talk and prefers to discuss real issues - well real issues for him. He enjoys talking about the latest celebrity and political gossip. Always talks about scandals. Sometimes he might have been involved with the scandal but is tactful with how he steers the blame on everyone but himself.  
  • At parties, if he’s not on the dance floor or chatting about “real issues” he is making his famous cocktail “Dick’s Special.”

Richard the tuxedo is waiting for you HERE.